Read my first money story here
- The Elephant In The Room: MONEY

SCARCITY WASN'T JUST A MINDSET ISSUE.
IT WAS A WAY OF LIFE!

I grew up in a communist country where, in many ways, money didn’t exist.

Everyone was paid the "same".
Everyone stood in long lines for bread, milk, or potatoes.
Everyone was pretty resourceful in survival.

Scarcity wasn’t just an idea.
Scarcity wasn't a mindset issue.
It was a way of life.
You adjust to scarcity.
You learn to contract until....

When my father passed away (I was 5), my Mother had to work 2–3 jobs just to survive.
My young nervous system learned quickly: love wasn’t about joy or affection.
It was about survival.
My body didn’t wire itself around abundance.
It wired itself around scarcity.
And, in order to survive, I had to be a "good' girl:
obedient, organized, productive, responsible,
disciplined and stoic.

So even after moving to America, I carried that imprint with me.
I am in my 50s now and only because of my deep work, I am
entering a new phase and a new relationship with money,
myself, abundance, life and business.

And, it feels liberating!

Back to where it all started:
Scarcity wasn’t just about what I had or didn’t have.
It became who I believed I was:
never enough, always bracing for loss.

The “American dream” called to me, and I went all in:
borrowing, investing, opening my own business,
running 24/7 operations, hiring, firing, pleasing customers,
and financing on 0% credit card interest.
My nervous system was slowly shutting down and
for many years, it was running in a functional freeze mode.

On the outside, it looked like success.
On the inside, it was still survival.

I avoided looking at the bank account for the fear of facing "not enough".
It was never enough but it felt "unsafe" to even know what "enough" really was.
We were always on edge: paying expenses, holding our breath, waiting for the next crisis.

👉 This is the pattern so many ambitious women know well:
hustling for safety while feeling secretly unsafe inside.

💡 Teaching: Money doesn’t create safety.
Our nervous system roots do.
When scarcity lives in the body, we will recreate it
even in a land of opportunity,
even with success,
even with money in the bank.

For me, the turning point was when I stopped running from shame
and started listening to my body.
I began to see that the way out of the cycle wasn’t “out there”
in another strategy or hustle.
It was “in here,” in how I related to myself.

One of the spiritual principles I teach now is:
"As Within, So Without."

When I shifted my roots from fear to love, the trunk of my tree
got stronger, more confident and grounded.
Everything began to change:

• Scarcity softened into compassion.

• Shame dissolved into self-worth.

• Avoidance opened into awareness.

• And money became not the source of my worth,
  but a reflection of it.

• And, I started to realize that I am already
  living an abundant life because abundance is not
  something I create but something I tap into as I am
  connecting to abundance within me. It is my the basis
  for my nervous system now.
  

Takeaway: Scarcity doesn’t end by making more money.
It ends when we root in love and safety
when we bring compassion to our bodies and nervous systems.
That is what abundance really is: not having more,
but being more at home with yourself.

After all, it is not about ending scarcity.
It is about expanding more into abundance while
allowing scarcity to show up as our nervous system
doing a wonderful job of protecting our fears.

That's why I am so passionate about guiding amazing
women just like back to love and embodying your
relationship with money through love and nervous system.

This is one of the practices that I am sharing
with my private clients and in my courses.

Reflection Practice:
Meeting Your Scarcity Roots

1. Pause + Breathe
   Place one hand on your heart, one hand on your belly.
   Take 3 slow breaths and notice:
   where does scarcity live in my body right now?
   (Is it a tightness in the chest? A knot in the stomach? A clenching in the jaw?)

2. Remember
   Ask yourself: What’s my earliest memory of money feeling unsafe?
   Don’t judge it—just notice.
   See if you can feel how your younger self’s body responded.

3. Reframe with Love
   Whisper to that younger part:
   You are safe now. You don’t have to hustle to be loved.
   Notice how your body shifts when you bring love into the memory.

4. Journal Prompt

   • Where does scarcity still feel “normal” in my life?

   • How does my nervous system respond when I think about money (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn)?

   • What would rooting in love and safety around money look like for me today?
     

Integration Tip:
Each time you catch your body bracing for “not enough,”
pause, place your hand on your heart, and repeat:
“Love is my root. Safety is in me.”

When you're ready to befriend your money,
join our monthly our Money Dates and Chocolates
where we co-create a safe space and bring money
into the spotlight to meet our truth and our true
relationship with safety, love and money.

Interested?
Reach out at jewelslammcoaching@gmail.com

With love & money
and dark chocolate,
Jewels